Shep and Rhuby are already closing in on 6 months of age, which is incredibly hard for me to believe. I got them at about 8.5 weeks and to think I’ve had the little devils in my life for that long amazes me. I was a devout cat person for years, and if you’d ever told me I would end up with not one but two dogs – I’d have told you to take another nitrus hit out of your Grateful Dead balloon. Then beaten you up because you’d have been a hippy.
So what have I learned in my time as a puppy daddy, I asked myself. What new canine-related knowledge would I choose to impart if someone asked me? Here are some notes…
- People used to ask me why I didn’t want to have a dog. My answer was that they smell bad and fart a lot on top of it. My biggest complaint about my dogs thus far? They smell bad and fart a lot on top of it.
- Separtated, both dogs are obedient little angels. If Janet goes away for a few days and takes Rhuby you’d mistake Shep for Benji he’s so darn good. Together they’re like Gozer and the fucking keymaster.
- The doorbell, even when it’s only on the TV, is cause for a code red, four-alarm barkfest that would make you think the free members of the Manson family are on the doorstep.
- Spiders and mosquitos are dee-lish.
- They’re getting neutered and spade respectively at the 6 month mark in a couple of weeks. We’re getting dangerously close to puppy potency, and I’m seeing more lipstick out than a Revlon warehouse.
- They don’t always remember commands. They don’t always remember their names. But they’ll remember exactly where the dead beaver was even if you don’t take them down that road for a week.
- You know how you’d never dream of smoking inside your own home, but if your friend allows it in their house it’s OK? My dogs are like that – with feces. They’re not housebroken, they’re homebroken.
- Cat turds out of the litter boxe are dee-lish. If I spot Shep coming upstairs and he looks like he fell asleep in a bowl of Grape Nuts – it’s straight to the laundry sink for a mouthwash like I’m a housewife in the 1950’s whose child just said “aw, gee whiz“.
- Even if it’s 11:30 in the morning and the dogs aren’t due to eat for another 6.5 hours, yell “you wanna bone?” when they’re misbehaving or have run off – and they’ll drop everything and come back to you in a split second. They’re a lot like Kim Kardashian in that respect.
- When they’re curled up beside you on the couch, all is forgiven.
If the vast majority of these points seem like they revolve around doodies, it’s because they do. Don’t get me wrong, I love the little guys and have made a commitment for life. I just wish there was a bit less “nauture” involved sometimes. I’ll live and it’s worth it. Just don’t call me Dr. Poolittle.
aww haha. I call it “Bonnies tootsie roll snack” when she goes litter diving for cat treats.
Gross.
What is wrong with our animals? I mean the grit and texture of the litter alone must be a horrible thing to have in your mouth – let alone the DOO!
Our Barney stopped that after a year or so. It’s more common among terriers than most breeds. “Why” has something to do with trying to make their own scent blend in with the smell of their surroundings. According to our old vet in Boston, when they are nervous or upset, the dog’s instinct is to hide. As most animals locate others by scent first & sight second, being “invisible” to a threat in their mint means smelling like their environment.
Is there someplace up higher than the dog’s line of sight where you can put the cat box?
You are spot on…I am a new dog owner as well (About 6 months as well) and they seem to enjoy producing and playing with doodie in creative ways.