Revenge of the Sith opens today, and I felt a quick little furry nod was in order. The last time I thought the last-ever-Star-Wars-movie was opening, it was 1983 and my family was waiting to see Return of the Jedi in Ottawa, Ontario. My father bought a cute little Wicket the Ewok button for Janet, which some enterprising guy was selling to the people standing in line. He was selling buttons – not Janet. Just wanted to make that as clear as a Dagobah pond.
Now, 22 years later, I’m spending this holiest of days sweating through work like Jabba on a treadmill. Yet I’ll still find the time to make several bad Star Wars jokes, eh? View the entire Ewok PhotoShop contest here.
Those photoshops are funny… Ewok Sluts – ha! I got invited to a free private screening tomorrow… at 5:00pm… I am pissed – no way in hell I can make that time from Waltham.
Well I’m glad you didn’t ask me to take your place, because I would have in a heartbeat.
I love Star Wars – the only thing more influential on how I spent my youth playing than Raiders of the Lost Ark. However, I never thought I could hate anything more than an Ewok until Jar Jar Binks showed up on the scene. But, if it wasn’t for those stupid little fur balls, we’d never have gotten the Wookie Defense (man, that one has saved my ass on numerous occasions). Lucas better deliver this time or I am definitely joining the Dark Side.
I voted for Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Ewok Band.
I like Gizmo with the ball gag.
I just about had a heart attack when I scrolled down the ewok photoshop pictures and that girls legs were apart… luckily there was a little furry ewok there…
Yeah, that Ewok of hers could really use a Brazilian wax job…
That evok could use a good wash…
I flippen hate ewoks – can’t trust the lil’ fuckers…
Anyway – I lived in FL in 85′ and the older kids had the ewok tree house with all the figurines and space ship. It is not like they stuck ewoks up my arse or anything… However, it is even worst really. They would play Star Wars all the time… They would spend most the day diggen holes and shit and setting up the display – I was expected to help out… but then I wasn never allowed to play. So one day when they ran in for dinner and didn’t have time to clean up… I grabbed their ewoks and threw them on the rail road tracks… I then pissed all over their ewoks and tree house when they went to dinner. I got in trouble when they showed up at my door asking for the Ewoks – but it felt good to make those rich fookers cry. Kids were asshole bullies man – had it coming to them. So I really hate ewoks. Life got better when we moved to a different part of town and would play GI Joes and Ninja’s vs Commies & Ruski’s… “The Russian’s are coming!!!” “Wolverines!!!”.
I was an Ewok one year for Halloween. I loved that costume. I think I still have the mask somewhere.
You are an ewok
C3PO – you are gay
Ewok, C3P0 is the gay god you fur balls worhship.
GRGRRRRRRR GRRRRAARRR RGRRRRRR ARRRG RRRR ARRRRG
…and R2D2 is the little metalic genital that C3PO worships.
C3PO is definately the bottom in the whole android S&M game he and R2-D2 play.
R2 takes it in the lateral droid exhaust port.
R2-D2 is C3PO’s butt plug.
http://home.globalcrossing.net/~variable/gayrobot.html
Amazing what you find when you type in C3PO S&M on Google
Very interesting – a site dedicated to gay robots. It begs the question: if robots are artificial life forms, is their sexual orientation decided by nature or nurture?
In his defense, I’d like to point out that Twiki wasn’t gay by choice, but was forced to be homosexual by his overbearing master Dr. Theopolis. Several tell-all books have revealed that Col. Wilma Deering loved to lube up Twiki’s dome and go “hyper-space” on it.
It’s amazing what generates conversation on this site. Beedeebeedeebeedee.
Ladies & Gentleman of the Jury – I am just a wookie… a poor and frightened wookie… I don’t understand your tv’s, and fast cars, and cinemaplexes.
Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, Chef’s attorney would certainly want you to believe that his client wrote “Stinky Britches” ten years ago. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself!
But ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: Ladies and gentlemen, this [pointing to a picture of Chewbacca] is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookie from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense! Why would a Wookie—an eight foot tall Wookie—want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!
But more important, you have to ask yourself, what does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense!
Look at me, I’m a lawyer defending a major record company, and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense!
And so you have to remember, when you’re in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation… does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense.
If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.
tko you how cute!