Appetizer: What is your favorite beverage?
A lot of Indian restaurants don’t have liquor licenses. I’m unsure if that’s because they don’t want to pay the fees or if it’s due to the rash of “Waiter, there’s a cobra in my soup” incidents prevalent in the late 70’s – but it’s a fact. I remember a place my parents used to take my sister and I in Ottawa when we were kids. You may think a lack of a liquor license would be an inconvenience to most – but as long as the restaurant didn’t sell any booze, people were allowed to bring and drink their own. So my Dad and his friends would go across the street get an armload of wine each and get juiced while gorging on tandoori and making inappropriate turban jokes (I remember “pull-start” being a popular one – I’ll explain it to you sometime in person). OK – long story short, so we didn’t feel left out, my sister and I would always order sweet lassis. This is not an affectionate border collie. It’s a non-alcoholic Indian drink made from yoghurt, and they are dee-lish. Friggin’ cobras.
Soup: Name 3 things that are on your computer desk at home or work.
Home: An orange cat. If you ever get a naughty instant message from me, blame his fondness for keyboard tap dance/my fondness for liquor. Work: Photo of me/Venditti/Herb and a Tim Hortons can full of pens.
Salad: On a scale of 1-10, how honest do you think you are?
I’m a solid 9. It also would depend on whether we’re talking work or personal life here. But basically I’d tell the Eskimos I sold ice to to stop whining because they should be looking forward to their new life living on Florida swampland, instead.
Main Course: You get to change the name of a city. How bout it?
Boston would be re-christened “I Thank-God-Every-Day-That-I-Don’t-Live-In-New-York-Ville
Dessert: What stresses you out? What calms you down?
Less Money. Mo’ Money.
Anonymous
ha ha. I get it. pull-start like a lawn mower… only you yank the turban. brutal. i can only assume your family were forced to go to a new restaurant every week. i want to try a lassi now.
Dave Pye
You got it, Pontiac. But no, the proprietors loved us. My Dad brought them so much business. That’s the trick methinks. Get in tight with the business owner, bring them lots of customers, and then feel free to verbally abuse them at your whim.