I have a huge block of conference calls today, and although they’re an intregal part of my job – I never look forward to them. But I suppose coroners don’t exactly look forward to the next tractor trailer vivisection that’s flopped down on their slab, either. It’s the job – suck it up or hit the breadline while you find your true calling.
My aversion isn’t human interaction – or my occupation itself – but rather the telephone. I’m not a phoner. I don’t call people to idly chat. I don’t like it when people who aren’t related to me call me for no good reason. If I’m not dating you, I shouldn’t have to pretend to be interested in sustaining a polite phonecall. Jesus this makes me sound like a prick – but there has to be a few of you out there who share this aversion.
And the sprawling, three-minute voicemails about nothing drive me insane. I sometimes go several days without checking because I dread them so much. “Hey, haven’t talked to you in about 47 minutes. Wanted to see what you were up to. Listen, uh, give me a call back when you get a chance, so we can continue to burn cell minutes talking about things I wouldn’t cross the street to say to you.” Or the gem I actually had to exit a restaurant and walk 2 blocks to get a signal in order to hear: “Hey, remember when I called earlier and said I’d meet you at that restaurant at 6? Well I’ll still be there at 6.”
I once thought it was unique to women, but have had to change my stance. I have male friends who are on their phones every free minute of the day. “Whatcha doin?” “Nothing.” “What are you doing?” “Fuck off.” It’s tough love – you’re not a 12 year old chick eager to talk about whatever episode of the OC just ended. Get off the phone unless a mutual friend has died. Preferably someone to which I owed money.
Many of my friends share this aversion. And as I don’t, it drives me crazy.
Dave,
Call me later. Let’s chat
I’m calling you right now and leaving you a 3 minute message on how gross those vivisection pictures were.
I agree with Pye on this one. The other thing I can’t stand are those kind of people who think that just because a phone is ringing it must be answered – even when it’s not their own phone, they get all panicky about it.
I even go as far as saying that people who anser their phone in a room with other people are rude… why can’t you just walk out of the room to answer your phone… not like you don’t have the number of the person that called you.
BW
Or how about when in a restaurant? And I’m talking like phone to the ear while the waiter is trying to take your order. So obnoxious. But what takes the cake for me are those damn Nextel two way walkie talkie phones. (Dave, I know you are an owner. Sorry!) They beep and then anyone within a 20 foot radius can hear your conversation. No, I don’t care that you just found out who your baby daddy is! Keep that shit to yo-self.
I use that particular Nextel feature sparingly. You can do it with any call for sort of a speaker phone effect. Cool for when you’re at home and need to be hands-free to type, cook, talk on a second phone, wank or saw through hooker femurs.
I hate hookers and I really hate hookers with phones. I use to hate those damn Nextels – so annoying. Then I saw how much fun the two way is. I grew up on a Citizens Band Radio… it was a blast. My handle was sleepy dog.