Friday’s Quizzlet: Asparagus, Lettuce And Black Olives.

Appetizer: What job would you definitely not want to have?
Take it easy, James Lipton. I wouldn’t want to be anything I’ve already been, because it would feel like somewhat of a step backwards. However, considering you can count window-washer, landscaper, waiter, bouncer, constuction laborer and liquor store clerk on that list – That’s a bit of a no-brainer. As an aside, there are many days I wish I was a homicide detective.

Soup: Oprah wants you on her show. What would it be about?
My whirlwind, tri-country, peanut-oil-soaked, illegal, sweaty love affair with Rachel Weisz, of course. I’d jump up and down on the couch and everything.

Salad: Name 3 vegetables that you eat on a regular basis.
Terri Schiavo, Helen Keller and Frida Kahlo. It’s not assault if they blink twice for ‘yes’.

Main Course: You can be in any bar anywhere today – which would you pick?
Smuggler’s Inn! No question. JP and I used to frequent this wonderful dive when our parents lived in Hong Kong, and I hope I get to darken its door again some day. We made many great friends there, and I am pretty sure my signed Canadian $5 bill is still stapled to the ceiling. Favorite memories include silly string fights with the natives, real fights with American sailors, my temporary Chinese girlfriend who threw up all over the 3 square foot bathroom, midnight van rides through the mountains with Malkie and of course the legendary Mr. Andy Kirk.

Dessert: If you had a personal assistant, what kind of tasks would they do?
I’d have them follow me around, taking tons of photos. I’d push them away and shield my face as if I were a hot shit celebrity. When women invariably asked me where they knew me from, I’d simply answer: Real World 18 – West Newton. And then I’d mention that my room number was also 18, and then ask them if they were.