I just read an article on CNN entitled “Fifth severed foot found on Canadian coast“. It gave me pause for thought, as you might think, and I read through it in its entirety. Basically there is an island in a normally very peaceful and picturesque coastal area of British Colombia that seems to attract floating tootsies. Here are the poignant bits…
- Since last August, a total of five severed feet have washed up on the same small island near Vancouver.
- The first four were right feet, this one was left. Daniel Day Lewis could not be reached for comment.
- Some locals think it’s a serial killer.
- Some locals think it’s due to gang violence.
- Some locals think they are the remains of several men who were killed in an airplance crash shortly before the first foot was found almost a year ago.
- Although tests are underway, there have been no DNA results to link the owners of said feet or establish identity.
These are all terrific theories, my brethren with badges to the far West – but I already covered and predicted these very events in your specific area several months ago. Let me save everyone on Westham Island, or the “Canadian Amity Island” as I am going to call it, some valuable time. Your suspect has a beak, tentacles and a penchant for ink. And I’m not talking about tattoos.
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