There’s definitely a theme developing on Pye in the Face this week, and I apologize if you’re not fully into the aquatic motif. But as soon as terrifying and weird-ass forms of new sea life stop washing up on beaches around the world I’ll get back to the breast jokes.
This story comes to us from New Zealand, where some sort of behemoth from the hockey puck genus washed up near Farewell Spit on Sunday. It measured 3 meters across and the estimated weight was somewhere around a ton. A Department of Conservation worker noticed it on the beach while out for a bike ride, said it was a good specimen and “did not smell” – which unfortunately precludes me from any serious attempt at a Michael Moore joke.
The creepiest thing about this beast (which New Zealanders apparently call a Sun Fish), is the expression on it’s face and – Jesus – it’s mouth. Look at the lips on the damn thing. If I stumbled upon it while jogging down the beach late at night, I might mistake it for Angelina Jolie. Or an inflatable E.T. sex doll. In either case, the jog would then come to an abrupt halt in favor of push-ups.
I’d like to suggest that scientists around the world start wandering the beaches with Geiger counters or begin looking for whichever North Korean nuclear facility is firing pucks of uranium into the Pacific. Preferably before my petty daily financial and work-related stresses are replaced permanently with Godzilla.
Hi Dave,
Cool web site. One of my friends turned me on to it and now I read it all the time.
I just wanted to say that giant sun fish also live here in New England. You can see them swimming up and down the cape cod cannal in the summer. They’re called Mola Mola and people who see them from shore often mistake them for sharks because they have what looks like a dorsal fin that sticks up out of the water and waves back and forth. It’s actually a flipper. It has one on the other side too. If you get close enough, you can see that they kind of resemble flounder except that they are huge and they don’t really have a definite shape… hockey puck works for me.
Thanks for providing something interesting to read every day. It must be hard to find things to write about. You do an excellent job.
-Jenny
Hey! Thanks for writing. I’m glad you enjoy the blog. Traffic has its ups and downs. Some days I feel like I’m just writing for my own amusement in hopes that somewhere down the road the article might get picked up by someone in a Google search. I also changed domains recently which has buggered things up quite a bit. But I predict good things down the road, and I’ll definitely keep writing, if only for you and I. The alternative is climbing a bell tower with a high-powered rifle.