I’ve gotten more photos, and more requests for me to post said photos and finally another mild case of writer’s block. So let’s just marry all these unfortunate circumstances into today’s article. Please bear in mind (and I hate to make excuses) that were this a political or sports related blog, I’d have no end of material you can find absolutely everywhere else. No, kids – I try and actually come up with the sort of stuff I myself would like to read everyday. Always funny, rarely narcissistic, never poignant.
Back when I focused all my efforts on my galleries, it was a lot easier to keep everybody happy – I could stuff sixty or more photos onto one page. But those old things took hours to prepare and write. I’d rather do something daily as opposed to once every four or five months. So here’s another staggered batch of Halloween party photos. First off – I had to eventually include one of myself as Julian from Trailer Park Boys. And here’s another photo of Annaleise which, in spite of Venditti, should score high in the ratings.
A picture is worth a thousand words, two failed hand-job attempts and seventeen dutch-ovens.
Although the whole evening is a little foggy, everyone I spoke with told me that the party was more fun than a bag of wild squirrels. So what’s up with the party animal there on the upper-left? I also have it on good faith that this photo was actually taken before the bash even started. Obviously, that girl never got tea-bagged in college. Then on the right we have the illustrious Gooch – who apparently attended the party as an ex-Mills man who now works for Sleeman. Uncanny, my good sir.
If you’ll allow me to get all Ansel Adams for a moment, here are two entries from our black and white contingency. First, Bryan and Betsy experiment with a position from Michael Hutchence’s Joy Of Sex. While Wicked Mardi and her biatches are just a little too cool for costumes on the right. But then who wasn’t at that tender age? I just wish she’d stop calling me “Uncle Dave”, is all.
Pye, you can post as many messages you want about The Big Haunt because the party was “That Damn Good”. I still think about that weekend and giggle myself to sleep. On behalf of the Canadian crew, he are our top 10 best moments of that weekend:
10. Spending 9 hours of the 10 hour drive (both ways) listening to everyone talk about my sister. Also watching in disbelief as Zomer held onto the crash bar with one hand for this entire time.
9. Listening to Herb interogate Shamus about why he decided to “slap on a pair of Dockers and a crisp button down just to sweep up the alley at 8 AM” the day after The Big Haunt.
8. Asking JV and Rich to come to a BDay party at Katies house before the Big Haunt, getting responses of “Whatever, fucking loser” and “I’m going to take a shit”, then Gooch and I ending up being surrounded by 18 girls as the only males there.
7. “Seam up my ass, wicked bad hair….” Sorry, only JV can appreciate that one.
6. Waking up Sunday morning still half asleep to Herb taking a picture, then realizing that I’m only wearing boxers lying beside Rich who is wearing black silk pajamas and we’re both under a red velour blanket. See above picture – thanks Herb.
5. After forgetting to bring shoes, Gooch buys a pair of tan lamb skin boots, and inherits the affectionate nickname of “Gigger”.
4. Deciding whether Boston was the Galapogos of the USA or where they recruited Orc’s for the LOR because the women of Boston were so fucking ugly.
3. Gooch gives no meaning to the term washroom greeter guy when he takes a shit in the mens bathroom at side bar the night of The Haunt. Note – the mens bathroom is one room with a toilet and a urinal – no divider.
2. Watching Zomer at The Haunt do nothing more than hold up a wall with his back while he chunged beer yet somehow had 3 ladies dry-humping his obliques by the end of the night.
1-a. Watching a guy dressed as a Village People biker tune up some loser in Pye’s apartment, then in Pye’s hallway, and then in the alleyway at 4AM. Then listening to all of Pye’s room/house mates bitch to him the next day about how loud his “Canadian friends” were and how they kept the neighbours up all night.
1-b. Devoring about 30 of those blissfull Canoli’s sold at the Iraqi bakery down the street from Pye’s house.
Great party bud…
Slick – A couple more additions:
9-b. MAAASSHHATAYTA!
6-b. Apartment 4 related: Huge fist-hole in the wall outside the door. Smelled like a poultry slaughterhouse for 4 days after you all left. The across-the-way-neighbor screaming at you guys to close the blinds, even though she probably hadn’t seen a naked man since Trudeau was Prime Minister.
Can you come again this weekend?
11a. Yes I think the Canadian Ho-Down deserves to actually go up to 11 instead of 10.
The fact that Gooch brought all of that Sleeman that we are still trying to polish off.
11b. The fact that JJV brought Ole Milwaukee Light.
Oh – and the fact that I looked like Ricky’s younger never before seen lost/forgotten in a trailer somewhere in the God foresaken Great White North brother.
Frig! I left all that Sleeman in apartment 4 and those new chicks have started moving in! I must rescue the P.O.W.s!